Sleepy Rant!!!

Ok here goes. I have alot to say and no one to say it too... many times I think, am I the only girl alive thinking this? Im 18 years old, I dont have a boyfriend, im almost positive im not going to do too well in exams this summer on account of my acute "Pre-Exam-Jitters" meaning ive basicaly buried my head in the sand and ignored revision & coursework. I have a job that I DESPISE, I mean despise..I work in a place full of guys and men who all treat me like crap & my mum has just lost her job.
OH JOY. Okay I feel so selfish being so down about all this but surely its normal?
I feel so empty all the time, what I love to do is perform and when im not doing a show/rehearsing for one I just feel so bored.

I will adress each moan in turn. I honestly don't think I will have a boyfriend in my teen years now, I still cling on to such a romantisized view it is impossible for me to see guys for what they are. I want all this lovey, passionate shit. I watched Kay Mellors "A Passionate Woman" the other day and felt utterly inspired to stand on my roof and scream "I AM A PASSIONATE WOMAN" at the top of my voice. Alas I did not. I am not THAT dramatic.
Exams- Last year I did very well. This year is another story. Since getting accepted into stage school (where I dont really need grades) I have just lost motivation..I don't want to fail but I just keep ignoring the fact that exams are just weeks away. I leave school in some 10 days and I'm just waiting till its over so I can ignore looming deadlines even more.
My Job- I work in a crappy supermarket up the road. I work two shifts both are male dominant with guys my age. I hate it..not only do I get bored monotonously repeating the phrase "Would you like a bag?" over and over again but the guys I work with a complete idiots. Either they are taking the whole shop worker jobby far too seriously or they are farting into tanoys fun. They all seem to think they hold some hierachy over me aswell, whether it  is because im a girl, because they generaly don't like me or just think I dont put the milk in the right order. I simply dont care enough about a job like that to muster any kind of motivation for it.
No one is reading my blogs and quite frankly I am not surprised, I should think of more interesting things to say.
I will when they happen and trust me...very occasionaly they do ;)
xoxo
DQ

Not for me..

I am not a party animal. You should know that, I do like to drink but im not crazy with it.
I keep my eye on the prize..on my career and my future and therfore try to steer clear of crazy teenage times.
However sometimes you just have to live a little, I went to my friends party last night and I think one word sums up the whole evening..."EMBARRASING" me and my best friend got more than a little happy and as you do talked a load of crap to random strangers. It was all fine dancing and having funtimes untill my friend thought it would be a good idea to talk shit to some people.....which in the end got us caught in a shouting match.. us walking down the street being shouted at by these I can only describe them as hooligans who I have never seen before  in my life except one girl who i'm really not keen on with her bleach blonde hair and whatnot!
We both agreed this morning that if this ever got back to us we would crawl into a hole and die!
That was my eventful evening.
Its back to reality tommorow, the last term of college until I am set loose for a year before stage school.
I honestly cannot wait :)
xoxo

Recorded Life..

So this idea of writing anonymously about my "exciting" life has appealed to me for a while, not because of the elusive (until recently) Belle De Jour or Girl with a one track mind. That isn't what this is about but because I can talk about myself and my life without anyone knowing who I am. No pain, no shame, just me.


Well who am I?

I am an 18 year old girl from England, that’s really all you need. I can therefore be categorized in your mind as any 18 year old girl you know. We are not all the same do not mistake me but I can guarantee the workings of mind is very similar to that of anyone you know, women particularly girls of my age are not as hard to figure as everyone thinks. Teenagers have been misrepresented in society for so long, I feel I should do something to show that most teenagers are just people...SHOCK, HORROR. I know, we do not all hang around on street corners causing trouble or descend into drug addiction or sleep around.

Granted, I have experience in all three of those categories (not necessarily personally) but I’m sure I will rant about that some other time as well as pondering my evidently non-existent love & sex life, the fact my friends seem so fickle, my future, my past, my beliefs and everyday experiences.

If anyone reads this blog and finds my mumbo jumbo bullshit mildly interesting I will be incredibly happy.

xoxo DQ